Ma so-fa-perfet-dey..

Yahoooooo !!!!!!!! I know im still stuck in the library but Im trying to look at the bright side of things. Was going through some books on the shelf and i found TWILIGHT !! This reminds me of Farah somehow.. Anyways. Read it a little, promised myself that i would stop after two chaps but couldn't, so i continued, i feel crazily isane cause i've never read a same book twice so, BOOM !! I feel like i could totally play the whole story in my head ! It also hit my head that TODAY is the LAST day in school !!!! Until September that is. Later on, i went on with my work on 'Philosophy and believe'. I had my lunch break with Gemma, Stuart, Aaron, Cameron and Luke. It was the bestest break so far...we dint do much but had a great conversation altogether, and my work for today is mostly done, handed in my drama bullet points work ( teacher said it was good), probably going out with Gemma later after school by the park to burn some fat, dont know ? She'll call. Hesh's present is halfway done, Hannah still owes me an explaination why she dint come online yesterday and J's part of my diary is already written !! Feels super fantastic to know that Debz is starting her own business now !! Yes, im helping her promote here... Go ask her about it to find out more !! Proud of her !! Ah Ching NEEDS to get back to me with information !! Kala, thanks for the support, Keith... Thanks for the updates !! I also feel excited as Im patiently waiting for the next bell to ring so that i could get to Drama class to pick up ~Osh and Bekah ! They're coming back from music summer school !! YAY !!! Wish me luck for the rest of my day !! Muakz !!

Bored...hahah...

hahaha... As you read my title, you should know that im gonna tell you how bored i am right now. So, dont be surprise when you find out that i was talking crap the whole time when you finish reading this. So, if you're not in for craps, better dont read this one. hhahahaha !!!

so...YEAH...Im in the school library now, suppose to do my work but decided to come online to update my blog for a while... Cause doing work the whole time is getting REALLY boring... You people should know that right ? I have a crazy flu, my nose is stuck, my fingers shivering trying to type, my jacket still make me feel cold, dint bring a thicker one cause i came straight from my mum's office. And IF J were here, he would be FREEZING !! hahha... I can remember his look when he was cold in the cinemas hahhaha.... Besides the point, Im starting to like blogging, it feels like im just talking to the internet. And the internet wont comment, it wont advise and it wont get mad. It's emotionless... I feel fun talking to the internet. Yes yes... i am THAT bored right now. Mind's thinking of the fun i had with Hannah during POOL !! (oh.. i miss that ) Keith, Ryan TAN and the boys dint go as the plan, BUT Hannah and i always has back-up plans !! hahah... Ashish !! I miss him... He was so fun to be around with. Haiz... before i slept yesterday, i re-read the messages from my MSIA friends !!! And I come to think that if i never left, would they have ever told me what they did in those messages ? So many... Kala, Hannah, Deb, J, Trish, Hesh, Koe Shern, Jem, Jess and so many more... ANYWAY, i came into this blog today emotionless, so i wanna get out emotionless as well.. and SO before i get emotional, i better leave... SEE YA blog readers !!

Noises...

Where did you come from ?? Why cant you stop talking ?? Why are you like this ?? Why dont you do this ?? How come you're always on the computer ?? You sure your teacher din't say anything else ?? Can you understand me ?? Do you want me chilli or tomato ?? Do you love me or not ?? Do you like her ?? Did you miss me ?? Where are you ?? What time is it ?? How many days do you have left ?? Why dont you get started ?? Can you retype this for me ?? Can you put these over there?? Do you wanna go down to London ?? Do you miss him ?? Do you think its worth it ?? Why dont you make up your mind ?? How are you gonna get through this ?? How are you gonna cook that without this ?? How come this noise NEVER go away ?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

(ALL I HEAR IS YAYAYAYAYA, YOU'RE TALKING WAY TO MUCH... I CANT EVEN HEAR ME NOW...i cant remember the lyrics...hahaah....OUTTA MA, OUTTA MA HEAD...GET OUTTA MA HEAD !!! )
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST SSHHHhhhhhhhhh.....

Some would tell me.....Think happy thoughts...
Some would suggest....Just go to your room and cry it out...
Some wisper to me......Pray...
Some saying....Just give it time.....
Some will type.... Forget it and put up a smile...
Some just gives up and say...suck it up !!!

All these voices i can hear in my inner mind...
My time has begun...its changing.
Except the calming silent that i've been looking for... i cant find.
My life has started to turn... Its my believing..
All that i have now... He tells me its temporary...
All that i dont have...She tells me its not nessasary..
For one thing i know... I try to ignore...
The truth and facts are the best gifts... But yet to me, it is sore...
Not pain and confusion but faint in concussions...
Not gain and break free but stuck in obsession...
Im not stressed and also not annoyed...
I wrote this for the sake of my feelings...
Wrote this at 10:28am from my school's computer...
Wrote this on a Monday...
Wrote this on the 20th of July 2009.

WHAT ON EARTH AM I HOCKING ABOUT ?!?!?!
I dont know myself... Hannah ? Hesh ? Kala ? Do you ?? You dont ain't it ?? hahahahah....

I have new secrets...weird ones

Over the past few days in my life, I have let myself into the traps of secrets yet again. Hahaahah... The piling up of secrets started last Monday......

My dad and I were having a ''father-daughter-day-out'' thing. We were basically trying to move furnitures from the back of my mum's office to our new rented house. While we were moving some of the furnitures, Uncle Clive came along and tried to land a hand...which was nice of him cause the cupboard that i was moving with my dad was ridiculously heavy !! So.... as they were moving the cupboard, i went back upstairs to take the mattress that was ''softer'' than the cupboard. hahhaha.... Next thing you know, when i was coming down the spiral starcase, the side of the mattress hit something super heavy and i cut my last and index finger trying to hold that thing up. I was scared so i dint tell anyone !! HAHAHHAHAAH !!! WOW !! ''BIG'' secret huh ?? Well, the fact that the thing that cut my fingers could be rusty for all i know made me felt like it WAS a ''BIG'' secret.

From this part onwards.... it is advised for ONLY GIRLS... but be my guest, just dont be disgusted or upset. Seriously.... Dont.

Next==--- 3....2....1 !!! I think I found ONE hot guy ! hahahahah..... and many many hot girls but let's not go there. So here i stay in this place full of young hot people so i dont know who is ACTUALLY hotTER than the others. hahaha, made sense ? Cause everybody else had sharp nose and all so it was hard to tell who was cute and who was not. Now did it make sense ? Right, whatever....ooops, i meant moving on... I just thought that this particular guy whos name is not gonna be mentioned so you can stop hoping is SO ''perfect''. He has features like Emmett for those who watched twilight and talks like a superfast engine moving. hahahah... SO yeah...This is my next secret because i secretly thinks he is hot among the hot people around. hahahaha !! Sorry girls ! Cant show pictures and guys who read this dont feel bad cause i still love you ''guys'' !! But SSSHHH!!! It's a secret yea !! Cover this somebody !!!

Two messages ? One life changed.

Woke up this morning and i had two messages, '' Cal me when you get this, urgent'' from mum. And ''EMILY !! cal me when you read this !! Its about him and I, we broke up '' !!! from someone i know. hahahhaah, I jumped up from the bed immediately and called them as soon as possible.

So my mum said, '' YOU GOT ACCEPTED !!! '' I stunted.... hahahah... Guess Im stayin here for a while after all. She was more excited than i was, I guess J was right. She just wants me here with her.Eveything here with the school council is done. Im going to Norton Hill High on Friday.
As for the other case, no, they dint break up.

With so much that's happened in such a short time. I feel lost.... Like Im not driving my life, but its on an auto-pilot sorta thing. But I do know that Im still driving my spiritual and emtional life. Those are still under control. I feel blessed with all these and i appreciate them the way they are. Thanks to Jem and Jia Wei. I still feel connected to my church. To Debz, for all we've been trough. And to J, i feel that he's in control of his own life, Koe Shern and Hesh, the memories of **kasturi** !! hahahah !!! AND to Hannah ( bestest friend), she'll be great, i know it ! Especially better when she's coming over here to England during Christms and we'll go skiing !!! Dont ask why i put Hannah last cause she's the one that i talk most about ! hahahha... Love and miss you guys ! XOXO.... WHICHGIRL !?!