MY CLOTHES !!!

Oh my goodness !!! This is totally horrible !! All my most lovable cloths are all GONE !! WHY ?? Basically, I repack my bags and put the difty clothes aside so i could differenciate them easier. But without asking or checking, my mum told my aunt that it was a baf of rubbish !!! And so i forgotten about it. Then when we returned to Bristol, I remembered about my bag of clothes, and i asked my mum for my aunt's number, she asked why, and i told her, and she told me that she told my aunt that it was a bag of RUBBISH !!!! I WAS FURIOUS !!!! My goodness !!! Im so broken hearted right now ! Those were one of my best clothes !! I cant even imagine them in a rubbish truck !! All dirt and horrble smell that goes with it !! AHHH !!!! Help !!! Talk to me !!! Keep me calm !!!

I need to know.

I still haven't gotten over the thoughts of ''you looking after me''. I keep thinking that there's something else to it. Something that make sense to me. Cause this definitely does not. Please... help me find out. I need to know. If there's another meaning to it ? OR if its just a song to remind you of me and nothing else. Just tell me because YES I do feel that you are..... Just tell me... Dont make me suffer.

Other than that, now that im in England, the school that i previously got accepted has sent a letter to my mum saying that the council has intructed them to put me on hold yet again because there was no certification of my passport and address. So right now, my mum, my dad, my aunt, uncle Clive, and a lot more are all tryin to get me into a school here. Why so much trouble ? Because my mum believes that education here would be better than education in the country that I just came from. Well... My dad thinks differently, he thinks that I would do better from where I came from. What do I want ?? I think I would just wanna take one step at a time. Im only 15 ! Ok, fine... that might be old enough to make decisions but I wanna be happy. And right now, I dunno if i am or not. What if my parents go through so much and when i grow up, I turn out to be something not expected by them ? What if I let them down ? It'll crush them ! I need to know what to do.... Pray...

Was it what I think it was ?

My head has been messed up so horribly recently by my studies and my boy world. All the studies with England or Malaysia is totally annoying !!! First yes, then no, then yes....who knows ? Later it goes back to NO ?!?!

Haih.....Despite that, in my life... There's always boys around. Boys that just keep coming from out of no where.Today, I was wondering if he was trying to stop me from getting away from him. Because he sound out. Its just, im not too sure if he meant something else. Or is it really what was sung ? Im not sure... Im confused and my head cant take it. Even though i missed this feeling coming from a boy. Was it a ?? Really ? Was it just fitting with how he feels ? Or was it something else ? Okay, okay... Maybe it dint mean anything.... Maybe I was just dreaming....It was just a sign of reminder of me to someone anyway. But I would love it for someone to look after me. Definitely....Who doesn't ?? Thanks though... xoxo. Confused ?? So am I.

The New Haunts...

Everyone's got a choice of a lifetime. One decision, a yes or a no may probably lead us to a total different future. Ya..Ya...Cut the crap.. Get ta the point pls ! Okay !!

In exactly 77 hours, I must leave the house that I've been living in for 14 years !!! Even though its an old house, it meant something to me. Im about to move to a different world, a whole new culture and a massive change of surroundings.I could have chosen not to, but I know I would regret not leaving. Even though I know that I risk a high chance of losing loads of people I love and those especially as my friend. They mean the world to me, but unfortunately never knew... till now. Voices from everywhere around the school are telling me to abort this decision or mindset because of my tied down connections and deep hearted feelings for some people is just almost close to mean to just leave behind.

I never put much thoughts about it until recently when I checked out the place I was going to. My mind had no other choice but to pop a "yes'' when I knew that it was what I wanted. But Im not sure at all if its worth going through all these while making others who needs me suffer. They are dear to me, which means they will support me with whatever Im going through, but I could never hurt someone that cares so much about me, abandon them here and leave. The haunts has arrived....Its still not too late.... but what in the love of God will I do ?

Interestin or not ?

Hahaha.... I'vealwaysthoughtbloging WAS awasteoftime. UntilrecentlywhenIhadafriend, Jemimahwhoshowedmethefunofdoingthis.Itisn'twhatIexpectedbutIwouldn'tmindgivingitatry. Icouldalwaysstop if Iwantedto.Yes,myblog IS writtenlikethisonpurpose. AmIretarded ? No, Imjusttryintogetchablind.Itkeepspeoplewho'snotinteresedaway.Yes,youcansaywhatevayawant,butit AINT gonnachangethewayIwrite UNLESS Iwantedto.Enoughmeblabbing,let'sgetdowntorealshit.

Icamebackrecentlyfromtheothersideoftheworldandfoundoutoneofmefriend ''did it''.Inawayitwasawesomelycool,andthatperson'snotevenintrouble?!But,thatperson'sgotanexplainationtado.Nottomebuttowhomeveritis. Yaknowwhatit'slikeright?Beinginmyparticularsituation?Tafeellike''whatthehell''or''unbelievable''! Thispersonstartedsmokin(whichimNOTkeenatALLon), AFTERIleftthisplace. IdunowhybutnotethatweareNOTtogether. ThispersondeniesreasonsthatIprovide. Andifitsnotbecauseofmyreasonsbutbecauseofsex?Itsstill NOT worthdestroyingyourlifetobeginwith. Espeaciallywhenthispersonissoveryyoung. IwouldlikethispersontoknowthatIwillbehisfriendforalong-longtimebecauseaverginisjustONEstepawayfrombeinganon-vergin. Imcoolbothwaysanyways. Sowhatnow?